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1. Q. What do you call a nude blonde standing on her head? 
A. A brunette with bad breath.
2. A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."  "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
3. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
4. The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. "We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably. "I'm sure we’ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her. "If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table." "Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.

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5. Q: What does a blonde say watching a porno? 
A: There I am!
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6. Q: How do you tell if a blonde is sexually satisfied? 
A: Who cares?
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1. Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.
2. A blonde competed with a redhead and a brunette in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The redhead came in first, the brunette second. The blonde finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms." 
3. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
4. A blonde received an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the blonde says jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper didn't jump. So she wrote down on her piece of paper. "They lose their hearing"
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Gothic Horror Tales
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5. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? 
A: "Nice tits!" 
Tales of Death
Tales of Death
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1. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? 
A: To keep their ankles warm. 
2. A young brunette went into a doctor's office, complaining that her body hurt all over. 
"Try to be specific," said the Doctor.   The maiden took her finger and pushed on her elbow, then let out an agonized yelp. She touched her knee and produced a blood-curdling scream. Finally, the girl pressed on her ankle and passed out from the pain. 
When she came to, the doctor asked, "Are you really a brunette?"   "No," she winced, "I'm actually a blonde."   "That is what I thought," the physician smirked. "Your finger is broken."
3. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
4. A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do. The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot. The pro said "Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard - grip the club gently as you would your husband's penis.". The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway. The pro said "That was excellent!! Let's try it again only this time take the club out of your mouth." 
 
5. Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over ninety miles an hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Shit," cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup... nope... yup... nope... yup..."
Sleep Carry - Innocent Damsels in Distress Carried to Safety... or Torment! - www.sleepcarry.com
Sleep Carry
6. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
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1. Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: She believed him.
2. There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
3. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? 
A: Tits go in front. 
4. When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it." replied the stunned surgeon. "You're the first one to ever ask that after a tonsillectomy." 
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5. A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, YOU DUMB BLONDE, I OWN THE FUCKING! ICE RINK!
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Blonde-O-Rama - Blonde Funnies  - www.blonde-o-rama.com
1. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? 
A: Her ankles.
2. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie".  The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
3. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? 
A: "I'm sooo drunk!"
4. Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. They released the genie and he told them, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a redhead. The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man. Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"
Pervert Jack - The Lovable Pervert - www.pervertjack.com
Pervert Jack
5.  A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?” The agent replies, "Just a minute..."  "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
 
6. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
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Blonde-O-Rama - Nude Blonde Pencil Art - www.blonde-o-rama.com
1. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her guy's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
2. A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde.  The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.
3. Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? 
A: Way to go team! 
4. A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."  The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"  She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
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Hottiez
Fine Art & Fashion
5. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear. 
 
6. Q: Why do blondes like lightning? 
A: They think someone is taking their picture. 
Pervert Jack - Adult Comics Featuring the Misadventures of that Lovable Pervert! - www.PervertJack.com
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While you were sleeping... Fine Art Photos of Little People Living in Our Big World
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*CRIME FICTION
A WINDOW SHATTERED BY A SINGLE BULLET. COCAINE-LACED CANDY. A CHILD ODs. IT’S JUST ANOTHER CHRISTMAS IN LA, UNTIL DETECTIVE TOM STONE TAKES ACTION.
TOM STONE - A NITTY GRITTY CHRISTMAS
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TOM STONE: A NITTY GRITTY CHRISTMAS
BY: DON SIMKOVICH / LON CASLER BIXBY
Released August 19, 2016
Cocaine stuffed into candy bars are appearing throughout Los Angeles. A child’s overdose at Christmas pulls Detective Tom Stone and his partner Jake Sharp into the seedy, underground world of drug smuggling. The duo races to stop whoever’s responsible before another innocent life is lost. They piece together clues and close in on the criminals until Stone finds himself trapped, facing certain death at the very hands of the men he was hunting.
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BLOGGER BABES, Erotic Stories & Sexual Adventures
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